It's nice to get a new client by referall

Sometimes, out of the blue I'll get a phone call from someone who has been referred to me by a former client. It always feels nice when this happens, a confirmation that one's work has had lasting value.

In this case a young man in his teens is having some difficulties in adjusting to becoming a young adult. Whilst his parents are having some trouble adjusting to the fact that they now have a young man in the house, not just a boy.

Cue, confrontation!

But this is a natural situation. Perhaps if I say it like this it will become clearer; the old lion has been undisputed king of the pride for a very long time. His lioness has had cubs, one boy one girl, who loved to play in the protective shadow of the lion.

Male Lion - waiting for the challenge

But as the lion cubs grow, they must start to take on new roles and the boy lion must begin to ready himself for the life beyond the family pride. So he'll start to test the authority of the old lion and of course he must be put back in his place (at least for a while) until he is ready to form his own pride or at least start looking to do so.

You cannot have two dominant male lions in a pride. You cannot have two dominant men in a home, one has to go. In our culture, as with the lions, it is the younger lion that must go and make his own way.

When we see a nature documentary about this on the television it is so clear and obvious what is happening but often people are slower to recognise these changes that are simply part of growing up.

When you begin to understand the process it makes it much easier to deal with. The confrontation is likely to be temporary although temporary might still mean 2, 3 or even 4 years of friction.

It will pass and in most cases (but not all) be replaced with something nearer to adult friendship.

Of course you may still have a young male lion rampaging in the home; it's always going to be a challenge!