Friday 27 August 2010

Smells and how they trigger memory and emotion

I happened to be delivering something to a local pub recently. It's a mass catering food venue rather than an old style boozer.

As I walked out of the door, I caught a blast of air from the kitchen area.

In a moment I was transported back almost 40 years to a school meal hall.

In a split second an emotion of comfort was triggered in me. A warm feeling of being cared for...followed almost immediately by deep concern, low level anxiety and a feeling of unease.

A smell triggered a memory and then an emotional response (rather a stream of emotional responses) all within a few seconds and all without a conscious thought from me.

I wonder how many people realise just how powerful the sense of smell is in evoking memory and thereby emotion.

It was my own Proust, "Remembrance of Things Past" madeleine moment.

Saturday 21 August 2010

Are there days when you just want to be alone?

There are days when I would rather just be alone.
It's not that I don't like people (that would be a challenge) but more that sometimes my internal processing needs time and space to do its thing.

This is absolutely OK when one has that time and space. It's absolutely terrible when you need it and can't get it.

Personally, in that situation, I'm liable to become grouchy and argumentative (yes it's a weakness but I'm still working on me).

Ideally then do not attempt to do the mundane things in life like going shopping for groceries when what you really need to do is go walking along a deserted sea shore.

Sometimes though, 'stuff' gets in the way and so for parts of yesterday I was that grouchy guy.

I just wanted you to know that life can get all of us that way sometimes...we are all human with the difficulties that that brings.

So if you are having a grouchy day and would rather be walking alone along the sea's edge, I'd like you to know that it's OK. Things will probably look better tomorrow; they did for me.

Thursday 19 August 2010

Brave New World - happening today?






I have just finished reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. The book was written in 1931 and published in 1932. Set in London of AD 2540 (632 A.F. in the book), the novel anticipates developments in reproductive technology (no one is born naturally, they are decanted from jars) and the break up of the family so that there is no longer a notion of Father, Mother or even marriage.


Perhaps the most astounding thing about the book is just how far down the line we have come towards the Brave New World envisaged (even desired) by Huxley.

He has the members of society taking a drug called Soma that allows you not to worry about anything, to find happiness in a drug dose. It is even used for mental holidays where a person could lose days at a time in a blissful state of disconnectedness from the outside world. To a modern reader it sounds rather like a blend of Prozac and Ecstasy.

The women all control their own fertility (although no one actually gets pregnant) just like having today's contraceptive pill.

No one got old, or at least they didn't appear to get old (because of hormone tablets, blood transfusions and the like); it seems rather akin to the way TV and film stars have plastic surgery to "stay young".

Society itself was stratified into pre-determined layers where your destiny is related to the chemical mix put into your embryo jar. A little too much of the wrong chemical would have you destined to become an Epsilon Semi-Moron who would only do the most menial tasks.

As a result society is stable but there is no sense separate self, no notion of pain or solitude. Society has become a stable, self sustaining organism that no longer recognises the right to be different. Indeed, in the end the person who comes into the society from outside is driven to suicide to escape the pain of being the same tomorrow as today.


It's is intriguing and more than a little disturbing just how many of the aspects of the book are reflected in life today.


As a literary novel it's not going to thrill you with its dialogue or character formation but this prefiguration of modern society will really make you think.

Thursday 12 August 2010

So simple, so brilliant and it applies to us all


An actor talks complete sense and destroys so many conventions in 55 seconds.

Blair book launch

There is something deeply unsettling about our former Prime Minister Tony Blair selling a book of his memoirs for millions of pounds whilst the UK public pay for his protection and others in Iraq pay a far higher price for his time as PM.

If you want a personal dedication written in the cover of your copy, you're out of luck. Mr Blair will not sign books with a personal message, have photos taken or be near anyone with a mobile phone.

Personally I wonder about what his state of mind is now, as he contemplates the mess that he left behind; not least the legacy of a war in Iraq where over one million people have died as a consequence of the fighting, depleted uranium weapons and shattered healthcare system.

Monday 9 August 2010

Sucessfully quitting smoking

I had an email recently from a man who said "I have been trying to give up smoking for years and years."

Two things struck me about that one comment (and I do tend to hear them a good deal):

1) "Trying"....trying implies failing. "I'll try and get that done by Wednesday" really means you won't see it until Friday. In other words it's a socially acceptable cop out. Harsh I know, but how often have you heard someone say "Well I said I'd try...." as they failed to deliver what you thought was a done deal.

2) "Giving up" What do those two words say to you? Think about the times when you said them, even drift back to childhood when perhaps you "gave up" chocolate for lent. (Does that still happen?) You really wanted the chocolate but for some other life affirming reason you decided not to have it.

Now think about those words in the context of smoking. "giving up" sounds like you still want to smoke. Subconsciously the desire to smoke is the same, it's just that pesky conscious part of mind that worries about negative health effects that wants to stop.


What's the alternative?

Don't try, just stop
Sometimes you'll be successful in stopping for a long time and sometimes not.


Don't "give up"
Decide to focus on what you want (to be a non-smoker). The only things you are giving up are the very negative health impacts of smoking. Decide simply to be a non-smoker.

The words you use to yourself have far more power than you know.

Wednesday 4 August 2010

The holiday that prompts you to make the change

It's that time of year when we go away on holiday or in these financially constrained times, enjoy a stay-cation.

Whether it is time away or time at home, we have some space to think about what we want from life and what may be holding us back.

I have become used to the way that the number of enquiries from those interested in changing their life ebb and flow throughout the year. Often this process begins in January when many will make New Year resolutions to change things; often those resolutions are broken before the end of the month.

As the year progresses, we tell ourselves that we WILL get that thing done or that change made but work and family commitments stop us grabbing hold of that particular issue.

Until holiday time....

That brief interlude in the year when the pressures of daily life are either reduced or perhaps just changed. But that change allows us to think differently, perhaps more clearly about our dreams and desires, our aspirations and goals.

So we return home determined to make that change but also recognising that some additional resources might be needed. (Well we tried will power back in January and that was not as successful as we wanted.)

So we look for resources, instant or near instant fixes to our situation. That's when I start to get the phone call and emails looking for personal assistance; that may be where you are right now. In which case make the call today, I'll give you 30 minutes of my time on the phone so that you can ask questions about how I work and how it can be effective for you.

You are not alone, others have been down this path before and I've shown them how to get rid of unwanted fears or habits, how to deal with old but still unresolved emotions like anger, jealousy and pain or simple how to make things afresh.

There are so many ways in which your life can be better, take the first step today and decide fully and completely that you're ready to make the changes and then set about doing it. I can help you with that process and am just a phone call or an email away. Call me on 01935 700333 or john@somersethypnotherapy.com.