This should be obvious but...

The only person who can make your life better is you.

Sure someone else can give you a pay rise or car or other gift but that just means that you gave control to someone else again.

Only you can change your life in a way that you choose. Only you can choose to exercise the control of your thoughts and emotions.

Others can aid you or make it more difficult for you, just like the wind can blow at your back or in your face. You set your sail accordingly.

Set your sail to suit the wind and make progress anyway

So today, decide to take one small step towards your goals.

If (like so many) you are not sure of where your goals are then your first job is to determine what they should be.

Decide today to set your sail in spite of the adverse wind that blows against you. Even the smallest progress is a magnificent win for you.

Anti-Depressants in the news again

Suicide and anti-depressant use seem inextricably linked together. We know learn from Peter Hitchens of the Daily Mail, that Film Director Tony Scott was taking them prior to committing suicide. On the Mail web site he wrote;

When I read in August that the talented Hollywood film director Tony Scott had killed himself without any apparent good reason, I was fairly sure that pretty soon  we would find that the poor man had been taking ‘antidepressants’.
Well, a preliminary autopsy has found ‘therapeutic’ levels of an ‘antidepressant’ in his system. I take no pleasure in being right, but as the scale of this scandal has become clear to me, I have learned to look out for the words ‘antidepressant’ or ‘being treated for depression’ in almost any case of suicide and violent, bizarre behaviour. And I generally find it.
The science behind these pills is extremely dubious. Their risks are only just beginning to emerge. It is time for an inquiry.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2224255/Enter-church-hear-echoes-eternity--Sugababes.html#ixzz2AfPCGnR8

This is not proof of a cause and effect link (yet), but yet another indicator that far more care should be taken by GPs and patients before prescribing and taking these drugs.

There are so many people taking them (possibly 7-8 million adults in the UK alone) that it can seem normal; it's not. At best they mask some unwanted emotional symptoms, at worst they are implicated in the suicide of those that take them.

If you are feeling depressed, a talking therapy will generally help you to resolve the underlying issue, rather than simply deal with the symptoms.

What is vital to know is however is that not all therapists and styles of therapy will suit you. Don't write off the idea of a therapist because you had one bad or even ineffective past experience.

Work with someone else, and/or work in a different style this time. From simple Rogerian counselling to analytical hypnotherapy, something will work for you, to resolve old issues. Drugs will only mask the feelings and potentially lead to worse situations (read the warnings on the leaflet inside the box!).

How a motorcycle racing technique can help you even if you hate bikes

If you ride a motorcycle you may have heard of an American called Keith Code. If you race motorcycles there is a possibility you may have attended his California Superbike School.

Keith literally wrote the book about how to ride motorcycles faster. He dissected the complex sequence of operations need to get a motorcycle to go around a corner faster not by making the engine more powerful but by changing the way that the rider thinks about the sequence of actions needed to corner more effectively.

That book is called 'A Twist Of The Wrist'.

Now what does this have to do with anything outside of motorcycling?

As it happens, quite a lot.

One of the core elements of Keith's approach is to recognise that attention has its limits; that each of us has a finite amount of attention to give in any given situation. He asks us to imagine that at any given moment we have only $10 of attention to give at any time. If we spend $5 on one thing then we have only $5 left for everything else.

Now how might this approach benefit you?

Think about that $10 of attention right now; what are you spending it on. A family feud? A workplace vendetta? An old wrong that has not yet been avenged? Each of these things is costing you. Each of these emotional entanglements is a drain on your $10 bill of attention.

Which means that you do your job less well, you learn a skill more slowly, you achieve less in your sales plan, you don't develop that deeper level of love and understanding in the relationships you care about most.

If part of your mind is still working out how to punish someone else for the wrong that they did to you, then you are losing twice over. Once from what they did and once again from mental and emotional resources wasted on your planned retribution.

The fix?

Let it drop. Hanging on to the anger is like holding on to a hot coal in readiness to throw it at the person who harmed you. You get burned more than they will from that same hot coal.

Let it go, drop it, cut them out of your life or even, forgive them. No because they deserve forgiveness but because the attention its costing you is stopping you from achieving your goals.

Sometimes I forget to count my blessings

Life is difficult, bloody difficult and then I read...

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

 That's Kurt Vonnegut for you, straight in there with something to rattle your cage of preconceptions.

Kurt Vonnegut

So I sometimes forget to count my blessings; like this morning for example. I was the fraught, stressed grumpy man. Then three of my blessings went to stay overnight with their Nanny and Granddad. Now I miss them like crazy.

As Kurt has said;

Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.

Count your blessings.

I am bang on with a prediction and I wish I wasn't

It has become an exercise of mine to predict trends and events for the year ahead. Of course there are some very well known people out there who do this, but why should they have all the opinions.

My forecast for 2012 was put on this blog:

http://johncburns.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/trends-and-forecasts-for-2012.html

Some of the events outlined there are happening now, some are still waiting in the wings.

One of the things I predicted was an increase in suicide rates because of the very poor state of the economy.

Sadly this is one area where I seem to have been accurate in my predictions.

One need only read stories like this one:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2219345/Why-did-banker-perfect-life-fatal-leap-Fourth-tragedy-City-restaurant.html
to see just what is happening.

These deaths are the by-product of the way we have chosen to life today. Perhaps chosen is the wrong word. We strive to be successful in the environment which we find prepared for us by others.

A workplace filled with similarly driven people, where success and money equal status and the loss of face implied by failure is too awful to contemplate; even death is better than that.

Actually though the numbers are more complicated than they appear. In truth it is suicides for men over the age of 45 that are rising as you can see in the chart below.

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/dcp171778_254113.pdf

So it seems that something more complex is happening. Is it more to do with the loss of status, the change in society from a basically patriarchal system to something more based on skill than gender?

Whatever it is and whatever part drugs (including prescription medications play in it); it is surely worthy of more consideration. Of course this chart only runs up until 2010, the next two years may change the story.

From my own perspective  I feel that so much of this is about the loss of core values and meaning in a person's life. If you sacrifice all to your career to provide for your family, but the family relationships fall apart because of the single minded focus, what have you really gained?

When you absolutely have to do something

Were you one of the 8 million people around the world who watched Felix Baumgartner jump from space?

If you missed it,you can catch it on YouTube, it's worth seeing.
After the jump Felix said;

"Let me tell you - when I was standing there on top of the world, you become so humble. You don't think about breaking records anymore, you don't think about gaining scientific data - the only thing that you want is to come back alive," he said afterwards at a media conference.

But in spite of his (justified fear) he still HAD to jump.

Sometimes in spite of your fear, you just HAVE to do something, because the only thing worse than not doing that fearful thing is how much you'll wish you had after the opportunity is gone.

Free speech and fredom of thought.

We learn from a recent article in the Daily Telegraph that the Government of Saudi Arabia would like to censor a lot more of the content on the internet.

The full story is here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/9602263/Anti-Islam-film-prompts-Saudi-call-for-net-censorship-body.html

Remarkably the claim is made that the recent internet video posted called "The Innocence of Muslims" is equivalent to child pornography and should be banned.

The quote provided in a submission to the UN body The World Telecommunications Policy Forum is;

"Any reasonable person would know that this film would foment violence and, indeed, many innocent persons have died and been injured with this film as a root cause,"

Ok, so it was freedom of speech that killed people? Or was it people that killed people?

Here we have the ever so slippery slope towards complete censorship, not just of the Internet but also of thought itself. Self censorship, the things that you stop yourself saying before you have uttered a word because it may offend someone else.

Australian comedian Steve Hughes deals with this point brilliantly in the stand comedy performance in the link below (I couldn't find an embeddable YouTube version sorry)

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555#.UHe4Ba7cvAk

Basically he says " What's wrong with being offended?"

The sky does not fall in, your faith in your god/religion/belief system is not changed, you just disagree.

I'm offended by most of our politicians, not much changes though.

French enlightenment writer Voltaire may or may not have said:

"“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

But he certainly would defend the position of free speech and free thought.

If now we allow some countries, religions or vocal special interest groups to curb our freedom of expression (and it is already happening), it is not just our words that will be censored but our own thoughts too. Then it will be as if the enlightenment movement had achieved nothing at all and we will all be poorer.

The state of modern American (& perhaps British) society. Huxley was more right than Orwell

I like to stay relatively up to date with current affairs. This does not mean that I treat every newscast as gospel truth but rather that I gather information from many sources and then attempt to draw my own conclusions.

One of those sources is the financial web site Zero Hedge. It often takes a contrarian position to the main stream media and so offers insights into the global pushes and pulls of the finance industry.

Sometimes a guest post catches my eye; this is one of those posts.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2012-10-08/guest-post-decline-decay-denial-delusion-and-despair

It highlights the failures both financial and health related in the USA today.

It's a good coffee break read; it posits that many Americans have moved away from self reliance to being clients of the state. This has impacted mental awareness, financial well being and now personal health too.

It appears that Aldous Huxley was right; here is the final revolution for mankind a doped up, over fed, unwell, mentally and physically compliant mass of unproductive (in any useful sense) people.

“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egotism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny “failed to take into account man’s almost infinite appetite for distractions.” In 1984, Orwell added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us.”

– Neil Postman – Amusing Ourselves to Death

It's happening here in the UK too.

Are you awake and aware or just another drugged up and distracted, passive client of the state/banks/commerce (of the least useful kind)?

The new normal

I'm old enough to remember the Miner's strikes and power custs of the early 1970s.

I was a child then and I remember that we were never without matches, candles and a gas powered 'tilley' lamp for the inevitable power cuts.

As a child it didn't seem so bad (though I hated the cold), it was normal for us back then.

Now after 40 years apparent economic growth (with occasional panics & slumps) we start to contemplate a new normal. A normal where economic growth is not always rising, where expectations of being cared for by the state may be very misguided and real income is actually falling.

Say hello to your new normal.

Judging by the depth of the recession and by what the politicians admit to, we could have to grind through this for another four or five years. Welcome to the new normal.

But for me, it's a reminder of the make-do-and-mend approach of my youth. Of repairing clothes instead of just throwing them away, of DIY on your home and car and of being more self-reliant.

The trouble is, if you were born after around 1979, you have never known these low times. You probably thought that life would always be on a fabulous upwards trend. You may not have the tools needed to make it through the next few years.

A Riders Digest manual is your friend

For you these will be uncharted waters you'll want a map or maybe some books. Those well thumbed DIY books seen lurking on the shelf in charity shops. The crumpled paperback on how to make wine and bar at home, seen in a thrift sale. Because without some navigational tools to get you through the next few years, life is going to be hard.

The economy is much like the weather, it's unlikely that you are going to be able to change it. The wind will blow where it will, and you must set a sail to catch the best breeze you can, to make progress towards the goals you have set. Progress that happens inspite of the way the economy is rather than because of how wonderful it is.

It's time to discover and foster in yourself both new skills and a sense of positive self reliance. As the old support structures fall (or are trimmed) away by a Government unable to meet colossal bills created by undeliverable expectations, there is only person you can really rely on in the end, it is you.

So now is the time to ditch the hang-ups, learn new skills and change your perspective. Hypnosis techniques can help here and a good practitioner will be able to help you. 

Looking across Chesil Beach

I had occasion to be high up on Portland Bill in Dorset today. The weather was wonderful (if a little windy).

This picture was taken with my mobile phone; unfortunately I didn't have the camera with me. Amazing views though.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

There are times...

There are times when I wish things were different.
There are times when I manage to make things a little better.
There are times when in spite of my good intentions I make things worse.
There are times when I despair.
There are times when I see the sunlight shining over a green field that I am filled with wonder.
There are times when being with other people is difficult.
There are times when I want nothing more the touch of someone I love.
There are times when my body feels exhausted.
There are times when I feel as if I could float on the breeze.
There are times when I feel trapped.
There are time I feel filled with a world of possibilities.

At all times I am me. Human. Contradictory. Loving. Living.

After the rain...

A double rainbow. Picture taken on the edge of Yeovil, Somerset on 3rd October.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Medicating to a new normal

Anxiety? Depression? Don't worry we have a drug for that.

In the USA Valium was the cure all medication for anxiety as this article in the New York Times shows.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/30/sunday-review/valium-and-the-new-normal.html?src=me&ref=general&_r=0

Closer to home in the UK, we have our own pill popping problems as an article in today's Daily Mail shows:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2211523/Millions-patients-hooked-tranquillisers-using-pills-20-years.html

It begs the question what is normal? What level of anxiety is usual and what is unusual and requires medication? Once we considered it normal for a woman's brow to furrow when in thought, now we have botox for that slightly dead look.

Like the characters in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World novel, are we all guilty now of wanting to be medicated with Soma so that we never worry about anything again. Because the flip side of that argument is that we'll never experience true joy again either.

The doctors don't have all the answers of course, lots of people self medicate with alcohol or cannabis to deal with the cards that life has dealt us.

Talking therapies work and are worth engaging in to find a new path in life but the fact is that for most people the simple act of living is stressful. Once, it would have been the sheer effort of physical toil, for meagre wages that caused this. Now we have a massively complex society, filled unrealistic images, about what we should expect from life.

Is it time for us to reassess what is important to us? To be once more, true individuals, rather than being held to the local cultural norm? I think so.

But if you don't, then the latest fashion pages are your guide to conforming to the new standard (down with the old standard); you'll discover that Vintage inspired jewellery is now in and that SSRIs can keep you functioning in a chemical marriage where both partners are on prescription.

Welcome to The Brave New World.