I have been rather less busy on the blog than normal.
The reason is that on 24th June 2010 my father Brendan Fergus Burns (always known as Bob) passed away. Family and funeral arrangements have come first.
For those who knew Bob, his funeral will be at Taunton Crematorium on Thursday 1st July 2010 at 12pm.
Wednesday 30 June 2010
Saturday 19 June 2010
Oh good grief
I pondered for at least 30 seconds before making this post.
Fresh mug of tea brewed (it reduces your chance of a heart attack...no really..see the Daily Telegraph) and a short break in the mania that life is at present.
Like many other people who call themselves therapists I earn my money from a variety of sources. For me at this time it's a necessity perhaps for others it's a matter of convenience but many of us do it.
I find it helps to give me a more rounded perspective on the kinds of situations that people bring to the consulting room. I believe that helps me be a better and more effective therapist. This ability to switch thinking in different situations is a very useful skill to have.
This is not so much multi-tasking as many tasking. I only do one thing at a time, when I'm with the client I am really with the client; I'm not thinking about anything outside of our shared experience.
As someone put it to me the other day "Be completely present in whatever you are doing at that moment. Be in the room both physically and emotionally".
All of which brings me to the explanation of the blog post title. I was with a client last night; we started work as England started playing. At the end of the session it was half time and I had no notion of what the score was. (0-0 at that point) It seems that I may as well have booked another client in rather than watching the rest of the match. Having seen the final 40 minutes or so my reaction was "Oh good grief". England as world cup winners? I don't think so.
Fresh mug of tea brewed (it reduces your chance of a heart attack...no really..see the Daily Telegraph) and a short break in the mania that life is at present.
Like many other people who call themselves therapists I earn my money from a variety of sources. For me at this time it's a necessity perhaps for others it's a matter of convenience but many of us do it.
I find it helps to give me a more rounded perspective on the kinds of situations that people bring to the consulting room. I believe that helps me be a better and more effective therapist. This ability to switch thinking in different situations is a very useful skill to have.
This is not so much multi-tasking as many tasking. I only do one thing at a time, when I'm with the client I am really with the client; I'm not thinking about anything outside of our shared experience.
As someone put it to me the other day "Be completely present in whatever you are doing at that moment. Be in the room both physically and emotionally".
All of which brings me to the explanation of the blog post title. I was with a client last night; we started work as England started playing. At the end of the session it was half time and I had no notion of what the score was. (0-0 at that point) It seems that I may as well have booked another client in rather than watching the rest of the match. Having seen the final 40 minutes or so my reaction was "Oh good grief". England as world cup winners? I don't think so.
Saturday 5 June 2010
Cumbrian Gunman Rage
There are times when people just lose the plot.
As in the recent killings in Cumbria (UK) sometimes simmering resentment boils over into uncontrollable rage.
I don't know the full background to this case, perhaps no one ever will but I recognise the rage.
It can happen to the best and most well meaning person; an event, a situation; perhaps that becomes exaggerated by drink or drugs that results in uncontrollable rage.
Rage is blind, it is I believe, a deep emotionally driven response to an assault (or perceived assault) on one self. An assault so potentially damaging that it must be dealt with at any cost.
When you see someone in a rage you quickly recognise that until the fire-storm of anger passes, there is no way to have a rational conversation with that person.
The best that might happen is to provide words of comfort from a distance, direct intervention, even from a loved one can be perceived as a further increasing threat to be dealt with.
In that rage, anything that comes to hand can become a weapon, it needn't be a gun; a chair or fist or handbag will do just as well.
Whilst I do not think we can eliminate rage (nor should we) it's easier to stay in control of one's own deep emotions when eating well, avoiding drugs (including alcohol) and cultivating a deep reserve of self-esteem to deal with the issues that other people push on to us.
In this most recent case the result of what seems to have been a long simmering rage is nothing short of a deep and profound tragedy. Sadly, guns or not, it will not be the last incident of raging violence that we hear about.
All you can really do is look after your own well being and help those others willing to change their life. Some people do not want to change and for that reason alone rage will always be with us.
As in the recent killings in Cumbria (UK) sometimes simmering resentment boils over into uncontrollable rage.
I don't know the full background to this case, perhaps no one ever will but I recognise the rage.
It can happen to the best and most well meaning person; an event, a situation; perhaps that becomes exaggerated by drink or drugs that results in uncontrollable rage.
Rage is blind, it is I believe, a deep emotionally driven response to an assault (or perceived assault) on one self. An assault so potentially damaging that it must be dealt with at any cost.
When you see someone in a rage you quickly recognise that until the fire-storm of anger passes, there is no way to have a rational conversation with that person.
The best that might happen is to provide words of comfort from a distance, direct intervention, even from a loved one can be perceived as a further increasing threat to be dealt with.
In that rage, anything that comes to hand can become a weapon, it needn't be a gun; a chair or fist or handbag will do just as well.
Whilst I do not think we can eliminate rage (nor should we) it's easier to stay in control of one's own deep emotions when eating well, avoiding drugs (including alcohol) and cultivating a deep reserve of self-esteem to deal with the issues that other people push on to us.
In this most recent case the result of what seems to have been a long simmering rage is nothing short of a deep and profound tragedy. Sadly, guns or not, it will not be the last incident of raging violence that we hear about.
All you can really do is look after your own well being and help those others willing to change their life. Some people do not want to change and for that reason alone rage will always be with us.
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