Hypnosis, Coldreading, Mindreading & ESP

The topic for this blog may be rather controversial. It relates to my own personal experiences in one-to-one therapy work, experiences that go back at least five years. I first noticed something odd happening several years ago in the closing minutes of a therapy session, after the client had been returned from hypnosis to an alert state.

I use these few minutes to give suggestions to client about how to use self-hypnosis or talk about the client's situation. Often as I do this I'll imagine and verbalize a situation for the client where, for example, they might use their new found self-confidence. Sometimes a name will come to mind at others a situation.

Perhaps at this point it would be useful to add that I take a pragmatic view of hypnosis and other change techniques; crystals, candles and the like do not have a place in my therapy room. My approach reflects that of my first career. I trained as an Electronics Engineer and I generally expect things to be measurable and repeatable without the need for esoteric methods to make personal change possible.

Perhaps I can best explain things with a recent example; I worked with a young man who lacked self confidence. For the first half of our meeting I took his history to gain a clearer understanding of his situation and then we went into a hypnosis session using positive suggestions and re-use of inner resources to bring about change.

At the end of the session I said to him “I don't know if you'll use this new self confidence to think about asking Mary out or do some other thing.”

Why did I use the name Mary? I don't know; but there was an immediate look of recognition in the client's eyes. “How did you know that?” he asked, quite shocked. “I have had an online conversation with Mary on a dating web site” he said.

As a one off event I would dismiss this as a fluke (Mary was not the actual name, it was a little more unusual). However, this for me, is not that unusual; I think it happens in some form for between 1 in 8 to 1 in 10 clients.

So what the heck is happening?

In the beginning, I dismissed these odd coincidences as flukes, pure chance, but as they seemed to occur regularly I started to look for other explanations. Could I have looked at the situations in which these 'flukes' happened and drawn something from the client history. For situations I imagined that seemed possible, but not for names significant to the client.

I wondered whether I was inadvertently doing some form of 'Coldreading' the kind of technique often used by stage show psychics or mediums. Again this is possible, but unlike stage show mediums, I was working with only one client, not a full audience and so the chance for positive 'hits' would seem to be much diminished.

So I am left with a mystery. As I tune into the client's situation, am I doing some unconscious form of Coldreading or am I tapping into some latent mind reading or ESP skill?

I would love to hear from any other therapists who have had similar experiences; for me it remains a mystery. Write a comment below.

Are you worth more than the money you own?

Recently in my personal one-to-one work with clients I've noticed a mini-trend beginning to make itself known.

As the recession continues to hit, the net worth of individuals is being badly impacted and this in turn negatively affects self-esteem.

Many people measure their self esteem by taking note of how much money they have. When the economy is growing and doing well this is unlikely to cause a problem, or at least the problem will be masked.

But when circumstances change, such as now in a very severe recession, the issue will come to light. If how you feel about yourself is determined by how much money you have and that money pot is getting smaller, then your self esteem and self confidence will suffer.

So what's the alternative
It's worth remembering that an individual is worth more than the value of the money that they hold. The truth worth of an individual encompasses their relationships with others, their skills, their job role, their family life and lots more besides.

So to return to an old idea, count your blessings. Even if your monetary worth has been hit, take a moment to think about the other things of value in your life. If you think that you can't be cherished, loved or valued without money then consider this; when a child is born they have nothing at all and yet are the most valued and cherished person the child's family.

You are worth so much more than the money you have. Take time today to celebrate all that you have.

Diet pills for all?

One of the big health stories of the last few days has been the news that the diet pill Orlistat (also known as Xenical) will be available without prescription in the UK.

The over-the-the counter Alli pill is a lower-dose version of the medication Orlistat or Xenical, which is used to stop fat absorption in the gut. The result of this can be a reduction in the patient's weight, but...there can be problems.

Just like other techniques such as stomach banding which aim to allow a patient to lose weight, this new pill does not reduce the underlying psychological reason why a person may overeat.

As a consequence the use of the pill must be coupled with a change in diet. Continuing to eat a high fat diet whilst taking the pill is likely to lead to oily, diarrhoea-like stools that may leak. This occurs because orlistat blocks some dietary fat in the digestive system from being absorbed, which exits the body unchanged in the faeces. Other problems can include wind and frequent or urgent bowel movements and abdominal bloating.

Not nice at all!

Users report that it can be a good way to start a major weight loss campaign but to be successful the underlying issues must be addressed and changes in diet and exercise must be included.

Anyone tempted to take this path would do well to make use my "Slimmer You" MP3 download to deal with the psychological drivers that cause overeating in the first place.

Weight loss is a huge industry and the Alli pill will no doubt sell well, even though for many people, it will be less successful than it could be because of the failure to deal with the underlying emotional drivers that prompt people to eat inappropriately.

Strange Phenomenon Observed

This weekend in the South of England I observed a strange phenomenon, people smiling.

Yes, as the sun came out and back gardens got busy, people started smiling. In spite of the worries about job losses and financial turmoil there are definite hints of happiness.

It seems that this is just another indication that our mood can be improved by light and especially sunlight. For years now people have been using light boxes as a means of reducing SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder. But now that the sun has come out, anyone who is outside will be getting a dose of light that does improve mood.

The way in which this happens seems to be driven by the production of Vitamin D in the skin which is driven by the spectrum of light in natural sunlight.

Some people have found that taking a Vitamin D supplement and using a blue-light source in the winter months can lift mood in a very effective way. Click here for one person's story.


So if you have been feeling down, get out in the sunshine and make sure that you are getting all the vitamins and minerals you need either through a balanced diet or by the use of supplements.

Hooray for the sun!

Knowing what to do is not the same as taking action

Many people want to change an aspect of their live. I meet people who want to be thinner, fitter, less anxious, more confident and they have one thing in common. They got to a point in their life where things were so bad for them that they felt compelled to action.

For some people though taking action seems to be the last thing on their mind. They'll complain about how they feel or look or moan about the situation in which they find themself but then do nothing to change it.

Why?
Why should this be so? Surely if you can complain about a situation, you at least have a mental model of how things could be better. It's only when comparing two different situations that we can know that we are currently in the 'worse' one.

So if we are able to complain about something then we know that there is a better way to be. So why wouldn't that person simply change things and make them better.

They may have tried before and failed
They may feel that any change could make things worse

Or they may actually enjoy the attention they get because of their poor situation.

It's sometimes called 'Poor Me syndrome' or more often these days, Secondary Gain.

A Secondary Gain helps to explain how a person can stay stuck in a terrible relationship or an awful job for years on end. However bad the situation is, that person is actually getting some positive outcome from staying in that place. They are taking benefit from Secondary Gain.

So now the question is, is that person ready to take action to change things or are they still milking that Secondary Gain?

When a person knows that change is possible and chooses not to make the change it's always worth checking to see if there a secondary gain involved.

Hypnosis in the news again with Lily Allen

There is a new piece at the Times Online web site today talking about the use of hypnotherapy by celebrities to lose weight (including Lily Allen pictured left).

It seems to be a fairly balanced piece of writing although many therapists will charge a good deal less than £95 per hour quoted in the article.

It's worth a read and you can find it by clicking here.

There is one problem that is very clear though; there is a huge number of Hypnotherapy groupings and it does cause the general public a deal of confusion. In fact the one quoted in the article UK Confederation Of Hypnotherapy Organisations (www.ukcho.co.uk) does not represent all the professional groupings in the UK.

This mass of organisations is a problem for everyone and stems in part from the fact that each teaching organisation tends to set up a new federation or society!

Check out the article, it's worth the read.

Mass fluoridation of water being pushed again

In the news this week was one Dr Nigel Carter; a registered dentist and chief executive of the British Dental Health Foundation which describes itself as "the independent oral health charity".

The charity is funded my membership fees, the sale of educational material, the fees for approving products and donations. (The source of the donations is not clear from the annual report on the web site.)

Once again Dr Carter is pushing for the mass medication of the population by adding hexafluorosilicic acid (flouride) to drinking water as a means of reducing dental health problems. This is potentially a problem because what is planned to be added to the water is classified as hazardous waste under the 1991 EU Waste Directive.

The addition of a fluoride compound is not risk free either. It tends to increase staining and fluorosis of the teeth and American studies indicate that hip fractures are far more common in those cities that have fluoride in the water supply than those who have never added it.

There was an excellent article in October 2008 by Irish MEP Kathy Sinnott published by the Times Online. (Follow the link here) It points out some of the issues around this.

Essentially the dentists want us to have flouride in our water because it will reduce dental caries. But they do not appear to take seriously any other negative impacts on the population that may occur.

The Dentists cite The York report of 2000 as if this gave fluoridation a clean bill of health; it does not. A follow on report by the Medical Research Council is also clouded by caveats about the unknown long term health effects on developmental health, immune system response and health concerns.

Yet every study does show one thing consistently; that dental decay and poor oral health are mostly to do with social inequality or to put it more simply, poor areas have poor teeth.

So we appear to be trying to fix a social problem with flouride, to me that seems to be the tail wagging the dog. Let's keep water clean and pure and if some social groups need lessons on how to brush their teeth lets deliver that directly rather than undertyaking a mass experiment in human medication.

Uncertainty is most damaging of all

We live a world filled with fear and doubt; fears about the financial future, job prospects even whether we will be able to keep our homes.

With a world economy that seems to stagger from crisis to crisis the situation is unlikely to change in the next few months and yet the uncertainty of the situation is damaging to both our physical and our mental well being.

It is an established fact that marriages and personal relationships are put under greater stress during a recession and divorce rates tend to rise.

This is particularly true for those who are in paid employment; it seems to be the loss of control that causes most stress and anxiety.

However, it appears that even though the self employed are at just as much risk of losing employment, they suffer with stress much less.

Why?
It appears that the self employed have a different mind set to those in paid employment. They do not expect work to be continuous and anticipate that there will be periods where they will be between jobs. They tend to have a "Plan B" or even a "Plan C" should the current pattern of income generation stop delivering.

How can we use this knowledge to reduce stress?
Instead of investing absolutely everything of yourself into paid employment, start to find ways in which you can take back some control. Prepare yourself just in case your job is made redundant.

Start to think of yourself as CEO of your own business, that business is you. Who will want your skills? How will you market yourself? What do you have to offer a prospective employer compared to the next person?

Top Tips
1) Dust off and refresh your CV
When was the last time you updated your CV? Make sure it is up to date with any courses you have attended and the most recent employment experience you have. Consider producing different versions of your CV to highlight different aspects of your career; use the appropriate CV if you need to pitch for a new job role.

2) Make sure that you are healthy
An employer is more likely to hire someone with a good health record than a poor one. If you have had lots of time off for coughs and colds it may pay you to think about your diet. Are you eating a good mix of foods? Do you supplement your diet with a multi-vitamin?

3) Exercise!
Stress raises the level of adrenalin and cortisol in the body. Long term raised stress levels are damaging and may lead to blood pressure and other problems. A little exercise each day will cause the body to use up the stress chemicals reducing the long term damage.

4) Learn a new skill
Now may be the best time to start learning a new skill. It might provide the route to an alternative career or simply impress on a would be employer that you are still willing and able to learn new skills.

5) Get networking
Business and social networks can all help you find a new job role whether you have been made redundant or not. Sites like LinkedIn, Facebook, Plaxo and other are a great way to find potential employers or contacts in your profession. Log in and get connecting.

6) Turn a hobby in to a career
For some people a hobby can become a new career. The home video fan can become a provider of corporate media, the dressmaker can do clothing alterations, the short story writer can begin proof reading or writing copy for web pages.

Most important of all, remember that it is your response the pressure and uncertaintity which is most damaging to your health. Change the way you think, have an alternative plan, become the CEO of you and you'll have lots of alternatives to look at should the worst happen to you.

Power words for persuasion

Kevin Hogan is well known within the hypnosis and NLP community as well as being considered an expert on body language in his home of the USA.

Kevin has posted lots of videos on YouTube and they are well worth a look if you are at all interested in how other people attempt to gain influence over you. That sounds slightly sinister but remember that could simply be your partner asking you to take out the rubbish!

In the short video below Kevin talks about the those magic persuasive words that prompt us to take action.



To recap those words were:
Imagine
Please/Thank You
Now
Because
"Your name"
Control or in charge etc.

So let's construct a paragraph that might use these words.

Mrs Jones, can you imagine how good it would feel to have all your laundry washed in one go? You really can take back control of those household chores when you use the new Rotospin 1500 washing machine. I'd like you to consider making this purchase today because we have a special offer that not only gives you 20% off the normal price but it also includes a full three year parts and labour guarantee. Mrs Jones, please can you help me to help you make this purchase right now by deciding on whether you would like to use the easy payment plan or an extra 5% discount for paying in cash. Thank you for the order.

Well that may be slightly contrived but similar conversations go on in retailers across the world and very successful they are too. Take a listen the next time you are in a car showroom or a white goods shop; listen out for those power words.

Memes and hypnotic language in public office

Memes, the spreading of ideas

The word meme was coined by Richard Dawkins to explain how an idea or belief can enter wide circulation and almost seem to take on a life of its own.

Recently a meme called “New World Order” has made itself known. This did not happen by accident the phrase has been used for some time now; indeed it appears that it was first used in the early part of the 20th century by Cecil Rhodes and H.G.Wells.

Those of a conspiratorial nature equate the phrase with a totalitarian world government but it has been used after calamitous events like WW1 and WW2 and now after the credit crunch.

It is an intriguing phrase because said in the right way and in the right context it can mean almost anything. It is the essence of hypnotic language. The psychiatrist and hypnotist Milton Erikson was the first person to recognise the value of artfully vague language. He used it when he wanted his client to use their own experiences to fill in the gaps that made change possible. For example he might say “that important event in your life that has held you back for so long”. Erikson did not need to know what that important event was, just that the client felt that they had been held back and so there must have been an event that caused it.

In this way Erikson was able to achieve positive results where more common techniques may have failed to elicit a change.

Erikson’s language patterns were studied by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, eventually becoming part of the basis of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

So, back to our theme of a meme; and in this case the specific one of New World Order. To be most useful as a meme it has to be seeded into the general consciousness of the population. This is achieved by using it in speeches and news paper headlines as often as required until it acquires a kind of intellectual weight. It is important that for the meme to be most effective the meaning behind it should be artfully vague.

This phrase when used by Prime Minister Gordon Brown and President Obama may mean better banking regulations, less corruption, more jobs or better healthcare; how could anyone argue against those aims?

Or it might mean loss of personal privacy, a more invasive state apparatus, fewer personal freedoms; things that many people would find hard to accept.

But because the meaning of the phrase is artfully vague, it is difficult to argue against; who would argue against more jobs in an economic downturn. Yet by promoting the idea of a New World Order it may be that unwittingly we ascribe our own interpretation of what that means regardless of the decisions that are taken in our name.

When a meme idea seems to burst forth that appears to be all things to all people, it’s often useful to look deeper into who is promoting it and why they are choosing to use hypnotic language to promote it to you. Is it all that it seems?

You can make money with hypnosis after the recession

You can make money with hypnosis after the recession (Corrected version)
The math went a bit awol so I have corrected the numbers
Well that was the headline that took my attention yesterday morning. A web site is promoting the idea of getting your hypnosis and hypnotherapy training in now, so that when the recession turns around, you'll be fully equipped to earn lots of money as a therapist.

It's worth taking a look at this in more detail as I think there are often unrealistic expectations about becoming a therapist in terms of the earning potential.

How much can you earn?
There are adverts that promote the idea that you can earn £45 per hour as a therapist and that must look very enticing if you are on less that £7 per hour as a shelf stacker at Asda. As ever though, the devil is in the detail.

So what could you earn? Let me make it plain here that I am not talking about the Paul McKennas of hypnosis but the thousands who practice day in and day out across the UK (and the rest of the world for that matter).

Working hours
You may think that a 40 hour week at £45 means you're going to be very rich, very soon; but no, not really.

Doing 40 hours of therapy per week is likely to be challenging to your own mental health and so most therapists work 25 hours or less per week with clients.

So maximum income is likely to be 25 * £45 = £1125 (indeed it may be much less)
That's still not too shabby and many people would be very happy with around £54,000 per year.

However there are costs involved that are hard to escape if you want to promote your business. These of course will vary but the annual costs might look like this.

Yellow Pages/Yell.com £600
Professional insurance £100
Professional society membership £100
Room rental for sessions (25 hours*48 weeks*£7.50) = £9,000 ( this can vary tremendously and it assumes you rent a room in a health centre or similar)
Advertising in newspapers £2000
National insurance contribution (self employed) £125
Web hosting for your site £100 (assumes you build your own web site)
Business cards/Fliers £250
Travel costs £200 (obviously this is hugely variable and depends on where you work)
Phone line / Mobile £250 (again hugely variable)
Supervision costs £700 (based on one supervisor meeting per month)

Total basic costs = £13,425

Your actual income is then £54,000 - £13,425 = £40575
After making an allowance for income tax this will be around £33360

So based on working with clients 25 hours per week that's an after tax income of about £27.80 per hour. Not bad but very considerably different to £45 per hour.

All of which helps to explain why most therapists have portfolio careers. They have a variety of income sources that enable them to do what they love and care about...and still pay the mortgage.

So the next time you see one of those adverts promising a career that pays £45 per hour, look a little closer and see who is really making most of the money; it's almost certain to be the training organisation.

I have no problem with training companies, indeed I have worked for one, I just wish they would be a bit more realistic about what their trainees could actually earn.