Tricky words - part 2

Can you remember back as far as your early school days? Can you recall a teacher telling you to 'try' and form that letter or do that sum. This blog post is about that tricky word 'try'.

Allow me to create a scene for you; it's a work environment, an office that could be almost anywhere. There are bosses and supervisors a hierarchy common to companies all over the world.

In this scenario a supervisor walks up to Bill, a long time serving office worker and says "Bill I'd look you to do the consolidated shipping report this week."

Bill knows that this is the job everyone in the office hates. The consolidated shipping reported is pulled from multiple paper systems, it is prone to errors and never easy to do. Bill is now wary of what's coming next.

The Supervisor says "Bill, I have great faith in your skills and I'd like you to have that report completed by 9am tomorrow".

Bill thinks "Great! A compliment about my skills followed by an impossible deadline. Just great!"

But what Bill says is something different "Harry, you know that report is a nightmare to prepare. " Bill is setting up the 'try' defence he will use tomorrow when the report is not done. Bill continues "I'll TRY and get it done by 9am."

Harry the Supervisor is satisfied that he has given charge of the task to Bill.

The truth is at this point Bill has no intention of getting the report done by 9am and has already provided a reason ("nightmare to prepare") why it won't be done.

Sure enough the following day when Harry the Supervisor goes to Bill at 9am expecting the report to be finished, Bill is only half way through.

Harry is unhappy about the lack of progress but he has to deal with Bill's response "Hey, I said I'd TRY and get it done. Not that I would guarantee it!"

That type of situation gets played out in offices across the world every day.There are several dynamics in there but the part I would like to focus on is the word TRY.

Try carries with it an implicit notion of failure. If I say I'll TRY to do something then there is a good probability that I won't do it. When we use the try, it frequently  implies that the task WILL fail.

Can you see how poor a word choice this is in a teaching context.

Can you begin to understand that in the context of the pep talks that you give yourself, the word try sets you up for a failure every single time.

So with that in mind the next time you feel tempted to use the word try, substitute a different word or phrase.

Some alternatives:
I will do that!
I won't do that!
I'll do it but I'm not sure how well it will turn out
I'll do it but I'll need an extra day(s) to get it to you

Stop trying simply do or don't do  In the words of Yoda from Star Wars "Do or do not there is no try"

Sucessfully quitting smoking

I had an email recently from a man who said "I have been trying to give up smoking for years and years."

Two things struck me about that one comment (and I do tend to hear them a good deal):

1) "Trying"....trying implies failing. "I'll try and get that done by Wednesday" really means you won't see it until Friday. In other words it's a socially acceptable cop out. Harsh I know, but how often have you heard someone say "Well I said I'd try...." as they failed to deliver what you thought was a done deal.

2) "Giving up" What do those two words say to you? Think about the times when you said them, even drift back to childhood when perhaps you "gave up" chocolate for lent. (Does that still happen?) You really wanted the chocolate but for some other life affirming reason you decided not to have it.

Now think about those words in the context of smoking. "giving up" sounds like you still want to smoke. Subconsciously the desire to smoke is the same, it's just that pesky conscious part of mind that worries about negative health effects that wants to stop.


What's the alternative?

Don't try, just stop
Sometimes you'll be successful in stopping for a long time and sometimes not.


Don't "give up"
Decide to focus on what you want (to be a non-smoker). The only things you are giving up are the very negative health impacts of smoking. Decide simply to be a non-smoker.

The words you use to yourself have far more power than you know.